Untitled (II)

    A royal air floated about the wedding we both attended. An English-looking lady just enhanced the feeling. In many ways, she bore a striking resemblance to the Queen. But a rather human Queen, one that lets feelings and warmth drip when the occasion calls for it. She was wearing a pretty exquisite pair of earrings. The lively spark in her earrings mirrored the one that lived within. We happened to share a table that evening. The sympathy I nurtured for the lady helped me grow the courage to ask her if she had any English roots. She was from London. Her husband told me how she came to America as a nanny and then they met so she stayed. They had been married for 52 years. Beautiful, I told them.

  "Are you English as well?" she asked out of sympathy, I think.

  "Um, no I'm not", I answered with a slight touch of embarrassment.  

     I think my freckles made a pretty obvious statement that I had little to do with the stock of the Angles. However, deep inside I wanted to. English imperialism exerted an immense seductive power over me. It began long ago, I don't believe I recall its early origins. There were times when the spirit of England dwelled in my university city more than it did in England itself. Or perhaps it was the faultless Victorian air I decided to embroider my vision of England with, a vision in which manners and a sharp delicacy of feelings didn't shatter the quality of words before they left their shell. Against all odds, life offered endless opportunities for occurrences of the kind. I found myself nurturing feelings of slight regret for the way modern times presented themselves, but my grain-like sentiment weighed close to nothing in a sea of I what I perceived as mainly blunt remarks. Granted, some of the old spirit had survived, but its shine was largely waning under the pressure of some sort of invisible pressure. I must confess I wasn't extraordinarily thrilled with the perspective. On many occasions, I was bruised by the coarse edge of a phrase, but the nonchalance of the speaker eased the moment.