I finally find that I and a Word document collide at a personal level. Oh, we did before, but this time there's no teacher at the other end to scrutinize every word cluster I might produce, which simply wipes away the tension of being critically inspected. I’m going to start by confessing that I feel driven by an acute sense of being freed. Yes, I feel truly free to express what I couldn’t voice before. Whether it was my own linguistic/emotional infirmity or it was society that prevented me from uttering it, it really doesn’t make the main point right now.
I come from a society that is still inveigled in a communistic aura, useless to mention which one, communism was terribly gifted in erasing identities.Why not admit it, we are still communistic to the bones and I’m a living proof of it. And what most people fail to understand is that the most obvious impact communism might have on a society is that very seclusion between individuals, doubt is disseminated everywhere; hence the incommunication. And when I say incommunication, I mean lack refusal to transmit a state of mind whether it is with another person or with yourself. So I should start by saying that having a conversation with your self is the first step translates into coming to terms with your self. It meant putting an end to a that “tense as a stalking cat” feeling. Yes, you finally decide it’s (high) time to stalk yourself a little and unfold what you refused to face.
Of course, there’s more that adds up in the equation of segregation, that is personal boundaries and the identity dilemmas that postmodern mankind faces, just to mention some of them. These are just few of the elements that sustain a such breach, a culture clash when exposed to foreign realities. You now need to re-create yourself, to forge into the mold you’ve already been carefully placed and you’ve kind of started to identify yourself with (a dangerous one I’d say) only to realize that a new environment calls for change. And change is under no shade of doubt an easy task; especially in the circumstances of emotional attachement to the set-up that you’ve first been exposed to. So what this situation obviously draws on is the personal effort of marrying an inner reality built in years of living in a dramatically different environment with a new state of things, new society, new ways of communicating; in other words, another level of relating yourself to the world.
Of course, there’s more that adds up in the equation of segregation, that is personal boundaries and the identity dilemmas that postmodern mankind faces, just to mention some of them. These are just few of the elements that sustain a such breach, a culture clash when exposed to foreign realities. You now need to re-create yourself, to forge into the mold you’ve already been carefully placed and you’ve kind of started to identify yourself with (a dangerous one I’d say) only to realize that a new environment calls for change. And change is under no shade of doubt an easy task; especially in the circumstances of emotional attachement to the set-up that you’ve first been exposed to. So what this situation obviously draws on is the personal effort of marrying an inner reality built in years of living in a dramatically different environment with a new state of things, new society, new ways of communicating; in other words, another level of relating yourself to the world.
What about this new world? What about its own incongruities? Does it show any sign of empathizing with the uprooted? Or you’re simply going to hit a wall that spells adaptation on every inch? It’s probably an ongoing reflection yet to find its resolution.
Signed,
The Questioning Self
No comments:
Post a Comment